Perfectionism and other diseases

The architect made an excellent point over the phone to me today.  I hadn't really considered it much, because I've been so busy trying to keep my head above water, but I can see that it's true.  If you strive for excellence and your expertise is something you value, then you will always be doubting it and trying to improve on it, knowing that whatever standard you've achieved, it still isn't enough.  If, on the other hand, you pander to the masses, don't have any compulsion to know your subject well and don't really mind if the work you do isn't perfect, you'll be freed from the burden of the additional work that goes into eradicating doubt. Thus, you'll have far more time to make money instead of wasting it considering how to raise your standards.

Oh how I wish I weren't a perfectionist.  What joy would be mine if I was blissfully unaware of my failings and the gaping holes in my knowledge of things I should be expert at by now.  What sleep-filled nights I would have.  What sumptuously carefree days would be mine.  Instead, I toil over minute corrections in order to be consistent and reliable and safe in the knowledge that what I have written is true.  If I cannot find truth in a sea of doubt, I will admit to it.  (A fatal flaw if you want to make money, or do well in politics.)  

I would be mortified, for example, if I had let someone on a fraction of my salary correct something for me that I should have known.  Something along the lines of: if you're head of the Geography department, you'd do well to know that Alaska may be next to Canada, but it's not in Canada.  (Ah, Jamie Theakston, your interview with Jewel, walking alongside a pond of Canadian geese, telling her how she must feel at home with them, seeing as she's from Alaska...is a classic in the depths of my memory.  If only you'd done your Geography as well as your pop/rock music homework...)

So, I must get off my high-horse and attempt to sleep after realising that I keep proving this point time, and time again, but it still hasn't altered my level of diligence.  If you want an enjoyable life, don't be someone who values expertise over output; quality over quantity.  You'll always end up poorer, more overworked and always trying to survive on less sleep than those who aren't aware of their shortcomings and couldn't care less if they were.