Jakžtakž

I have had my arm twisted into doing something I know I'll hate every minute of, but this seems to be the way of things at the moment.  It's just a case of "shut up and do as you're told".  This attitude will get you into trouble if you inflict it on people.  The lesson said inflicter must learn is: 'never get me to do this EVER again'.  [And no, Russian Countess, I do not mean you and your request this week.  I have no problem with that.  In fact, I'm quite looking forward to it.]  

And for god's sake don't tell me 'what good experience' this'll be.  It's sheer drudgery and, I might add, deceit.  You know it; I know it.  And if you're hoping it won't show, you're an idiot.  Seriously, she said, "don't let on that you're doing this for the first time."  I'm sorry, but I think that'll become self-evident.

As for yesterday's disappointment, I'm still feeling rather ambivalent about it.  How much is my fault for wanting to be open and honest about painful things is hard to tell, seeing as my gauge is always 'how much would I be prepared to handle?'  And somehow, it's always more than most people.  It's the difference between going the extra mile, and going the extra 50, I suppose.

So I have to try to survive the evening, feeling rather worn-out, indeed, wrung-out and even my newly altered jeans, the first in my life that actually don't drag on the ground, are failing to cheer me up.  So, if someone were to ask me today, how things are going in the Czech Republic, I'd have to reply, 'jakžtakž'.  Except, I fear it's already a little bit worse than just 'so-so'.  I'd even go as far as to say (and I hate to admit this) that I could quite happily leave for a night and go and get fish 'n' chips in England instead, just to cheer me up.  It's been a tough week.  (Can you tell?)