That's twice in a row now. Waking up in the wee small hours with tummy ache. I'm floundering again under the strain of this unrelenting timetable which keeps changing on me weekly, keeps demanding I think entirely of others' needs when none of my own get a look-in. I'm desperately trying to cling to anything creative that I can, but I feel like someone keeps ripping it out of my hands, just as I feel I've got a comfortable grip.
I fear I don't have the resilience this time. I need to be able to at least sing my way out of it, but the blocked ears and headaches are returning and I'm battling that on top of sleep deprivation. I'm almost on my knees now. What is this? Am I meant to surrender? If so, who the hell to? And what then?
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