Nothing ventured, nothing gained

I won a small battle this evening.  It may not mean I will win the overall war (not that there is one) but, this mini victory alone has taught me a lot.  That 'Christmas Bonus' idea has not fallen by the wayside.  Let me give you the back-story:

Recently, one of my friends posted on the dreaded f***book (as someone once called it) that he had got a Christmas bonus this year.  And I posted back, "I gotta get me one of those!"  And that gave me the idea of putting a 'Christmas Bonus' box on my table at meetings to see if meet-ees might want to contribute, in the same way that office workers get Christmas bonuses, so that I too, as a self-employed person could have a little bit of money to go towards a nice Christmas.  (Or at least help to cover the cost of losing money due to cancellations and people taking time off for Christmas.)

So I have been drafting an email to send to all my meet-ees to explain what this box on my table is all about and more generally, to thank them for coming to meetings with me and wish them a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.  In the spirit of 'Thanksgiving', I thought that it would be a nice way of introducing the idea that it's possible for people like me to get some kind of tip, if they think I've helped them this year, in the same way waiters and waitresses get tips.

So I got my good friend to help me translate it into Czech, knowing full well this isn't a Czech way of doing things at all.  It's just not done.  It's not 'Vogue', if you know what I mean.  And even though she thought it a little bit strange, she read my email in English and concluded that she thought it was brilliant.  She said she loved the line, "if you like my work, please feel free to give whatever amount you feel is appropriate."  And she kindly translated all of it.  She said she would be very interested to find out what happens.  (Me too.)

So, the real test before sending out emails came when I told the architect about this idea.  I knew he would be totally against it.  And initially he was.  "It's strange," he said, "it's not a Czech habit".  To which my response was, "It's not a British habit to learn Czech, and dedicate oneself to learning foreign languages but that's what I've been doing."  How limiting it would be if we all had to stick to the acceptable habits of the country we were born in.  Surely the whole point of my meetings is to inspire people about a different culture and open a door to a different way of seeing and doing things?

The architect required more convincing.  "You're going to ask them for more money? It's like begging on the street or something!" he said.  So I read him the email verbatim, about how I appreciate my meet-ees speaking English with me, I appreciate the opportunity to work with them and in that spirit, they should feel free to give whatever they feel appropriate.  But there's no obligation so if they'd rather not, that's absolutely fine.  There was a chink in his armour for a moment.  I reiterated that I was thanking them and wishing them a Merry Christmas.  I also reiterated that office workers get Christmas bonuses, so it's not a totally unheard of concept.  He began to crack.  

Eventually, the penny dropped.  This isn't an evil thing to do.  It isn't begging.  It isn't asking for too much without having given anything, it is just a slightly strange idea from an even stranger person.  No-one has to feel bad about it, because I'm not going to talk about it in meetings, and it's absolutely fine for meet-ees not to say a word about the email and pretend the box isn't even there.

As my grandma used to say, "nothing ventured, nothing gained."  What have I got to lose?  At the end of our conversation, the architect apologised and said, "actually, I think it's a good idea."  Those of you who've never even spoken to a Czech person will have no concept of the enormity of the impasse I just overcame with that one, but take it from me, that was a HUGE turn-around in attitude in one conversation.  And if I just won over the equivalent of an old-fashioned working class bloke with an "I ain't no charity case!"-type attitude, then anything's possible.  They may have tried to instill a 'don't get ideas above your station' attitude in me when I was growing up in a not dissimilar world to his, but, hell, maybe this is an idea below my station.  To quote a very famous, old film, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."