Working Girl

I had to decide in favour of sleep over writing last night, being that I really had to get up at 6 and I wasn't able to get to bed till 12.  As usual.  However, I did have a marvellous rarity of an evening out, talking to a friend, half in English, half Czech.  I realise it did me good to have a proper chat about things, since I've not had the 'meal out with a friend' experience in quite some time and in fact, I hadn't seen her in months, so we had a lot of catching up to do.

In typical Czech fashion, the glass of red wine I had was a disappointment, but the pizza was good.  It was boiling hot, sticky and humid, until about half an hour after we got there, when it chucked it down with torrential rain in a kind of apocalyptic way that made us glad we hadn't sat outside.  Even under a big umbrella, as that wouldn't have been enough.

And today, well, today has been a funny one really...I suppose the main part of it was rather successful.  I am currently about to abandon ship from an institution I've been working for, and it seems some fellow 'holidaymakers on the cruise' want to follow suit.  So I had a clandestine meeting with two of them, in which I was honoured to be told that I was the best at my job she had ever encountered.  Which was rather lovely, obviously.  

And I did something I don't normally do.  When asked of my fee for further meetings, I actually said the figure I really wanted, not the polite version.  Not my usual, 'taking all things into consideration', kind of answer.  It just came out of my mouth, like a pro, and I'm so glad, because the more I think about it, the more I realise how stupid it would have been to say any less and I would have been kicking myself if I hadn't said what I did.  I think they both admire my entrepreneurial spirit, as they are of the same ilk, and truly, there seem to be rather few people here who think like this.  The norm here is just to trundle along, expecting more from government funding.  But that just isn't going to work in these financial crisis, (and indeed, non-communist!) times.

It was in fact rather useful and a big confidence boost for me to meet up with my friend yesterday.  Having not seen me for a few months, she did a sort of 'rounding up of events' out loud as she tried to add up what things I've done over the last few months.  She pointed out that 'I've come a long way' which I agree with (though I always feel a tap of caution on the shoulder at any point like this, when it looks like I'm getting big-headed) because of the depths of despair I reached in the lead up to moving here, and indeed in the process of getting settled (a bit) here.  Some of it is personal stuff, that isn't so much an achievement, as simply dumb luck (the architect) or at least a leap of faith taken because of some good fortune.  However, some of it is sheer hard work.

I've worked for two different places, but built up enough business on my own to be able to charge higher rates and move beyond the confines of the limited degree of promotion I could have got at either place.  Now, I've got meet-ees abandoning ship to be able to continue working with me.  I feel like Melanie Griffith's character in 'Working Girl'.  Having said that, I fear the retribution and backlash that may come from having done something as seemingly underhanded (it isn't at all, but I'm sensitive to these things, so breaking some kind of moral code and lying a bit is enough) as Tess McGill and I wonder what price I will eventually have to pay.  

I did aerobics again today and as I was prancing about to Michael Jackson's 'Wanna Be Startin' Somethin', I felt a swell of achievement and a hint of 80s hope and dedication to the entrepreneurial spirit I've shown.  "I could have money too!" I thought.  But of course, that is hardly the case here.  Even if things work out for the best and I get some more meet-ees at a higher rate, I will still struggle to have enough time to not go insane working myself like a dog to keep enough money coming in.  And everything will change once I'm looking at the joy of paying health insurance.  And I'm hardly getting any swanky new office with a view of Manhattan out of this.  Not even an office with a view of Prague.

What I do have though, is a somewhat more toned, fit and healthy body, thanks to my extra workout this week, and to the 'apples and cereal' for breakfast/lunch that I've been limiting myself to.  You never know, my new Marilyn Monroe-style 50s swimming costume might even look good on me at some point soon.  (Though I mustn't get ahead of myself here...) 

And in the meantime, as per a couple of weeks ago, I should enjoy this rare moment of feeling like there's hope, because, as sure as the rain here is continually following the hot sunshine, I'm bound to feel differently tomorrow.  Or even in the next half an hour, knowing me.