Poverty and other preoccupations

As you may have guessed, work and other depressing things have been getting progressively more difficult, tedious and time-consuming.  I have had to write a letter of resignation, an email of explanation and a further email to confirm that the reply hasn't changed my mind.  All the while I'm being totally messed about by this particular institution, to the point that I am now losing money due to their disorganisation and have had to re-do adverts and search for work in any viable ways that I can think of in order to try not to lose out all the more.  I'm not even getting to take time off properly, because I'm not being given much notice of the work that 'might' be available.  So hello 'hand-to-mouth existence' once again.  My, we are such old friends...

I can't even find time to do anything creative as I'm still between meetings and organising things and my life is filled with the kind of tedium that saps every last drop of inspiration or creativity and kills it dead in an instant.  The expression 'burn out' comes to mind, but that has already happened.  That was probably two weeks ago at least.  I am now on the edge of the platform again, and to quote a Kate Bush song I often play, I'm "wondering what on earth I'm doing here".  Back in my usual spot.  No particular hope, no time to go out and see anything, do anything, not even enough money to buy something to cheer me up.  Such as nice shower gel from the rather posh, Body Shop-equvalent here, Yves Rocher.  Even though they keep taunting me by sending me leaflets detailing the appallingly small discount I could get on things, for having a loyalty card and having stupidly given them my address.

Whoever it was that said, "I've been rich and I've been poor.  Rich is better," knew what they were talking about and not only that, probably knew that even when you've got a tiny bit of money, it's no use in helping you if you've been under-investing for over ten years and the next time something breaks down (and let's face it, that may well be me) you're going to go bankrupt.  The worst thing about poverty is that it is simply BORING.  That aspect alone could finish you off.